Listening to the Land

When I'm visiting places, locations, spaces, I let them be what they are.

Removing the ego, our past experiences, thoughts, memories, biases and opinions allows us to be intimately present. Allow your hang-ups to be washed away in the streams, rivers, ponds, lakes and oceans. Heighten your core senses while observing the elevation of the mountains, hills, peaks and ancient trees. Broadening the depth of our humanness by exploring caves, valleys, tide pools and canyons.

Observing with our mortal eyes, understanding the delicacy of each second, we can fully embrace all that we are. All that there is.

Sept 2023 - Yosemite - 35mm

"We do not see people as they are, we see people as we are."

I try to do the same when I am having conversations with people. Letting them be who they are, hushing my anxieties, ego and biases so that I can fully embrace the person, as they are, not who I want or perceive them to be. We are then able to study them without judgement or preconceived notions.

Letting go is an arduous exercise. We've all been wounded. It's much easier to escape into nature and disassociate from unmanageable feelings and situations. Nature doesn't willfully deceive, betray, accuse, ignore or judge us. It just is. That is why so many of us are comforted by being alone, outside. No one can hurt you there.

People can be manipulative, cruel and stubborn. When our hearts have been stained by the sting of rejection, loss, abandonment and neglect, and we have not done the work to heal from those wounds, we cannot tell the difference between a person that holds the beauty of an ancient Redwood versus the danger of an F5 tornado.

Some people see others as storms (chaos) they have to weather, just to get to the next storm and repeat the process, never knowing they can choose to open their hearts to change.

Some of us are trees that hold old truths, we are here to teach lessons, we are sturdy, reliable, consistent and honest.

To those that accept people as chaotic and unpredictable storms, trees are a threat.

It is a lonely life as a tree. We are the ones you've always wanted to find but refuse to see through the clouds. The storm always passes, and we will be there when you are ready, but only when you accept that you created the storm within yourself.

Trees are great at weathering storms, as you may already know.

2005 - Work Picnic - My old friend, Brian - 35mm - He smoked, drank and was covered in tattoos and piercings. I loved him as he was. Kind, vulnerable, open-minded, adventurous and was always himself.

The Central Coast of California is boring.

There! I said it!

Oh, but she is beautiful. For seventeen long years, I still have not gotten used to the climate. I was raised in northern Illinois, where the four seasons were each clearly defined and at times ferocious, causing whip-lash with extreme temperatures and weather.

What is winter without the freezing cold, soft pink sunsets and silent snowfall?

What is fall without foggy, misty mornings and radiantly colored leaves?

What is summer without the muggy heat, torrential rain and wind that roars through the night?

What is spring without the hope of renewed dreams and plans for gardening?

It's the same weather, over and over. We're stuck in a perpetual loop of Groundhog Day.

(I love that movie, it was filmed in my hometown! Whenever I get a little homesick I put that on. It's such a gift!)

Overcast from the marine layer for most of the morning, then sunny and seventy degrees until the marine layer rolls back in. Crispy and brown from April until December. Green and pretty for about two months if we're lucky. "June Gloom" is in session for a quarter of the year from May until August. Then in September and October we get a few sporadic weeks that go up to about eighty degrees and on very rare occasions it will go up into the nineties and even one hundreds. That hasn't happened in years.

It rains maybe 5 to 10 days out of the year? What I mean by rain is it RAINS. Not a sprinkle, not a sputtering, but when the earth gets fully soaked and a stream flows in the creeks and riverbeds.

A month or so ago it rained unseasonably early. We had thunder and lightning storms, yay! My body tingled with joyous vibrations as I drove home from work. Like the Midwest dork that I am, I got out of my car and stood outside our home while cool rain speckled my clothes and painted my face. With my eyes closed and face turned skywards, I waited until the lightning flashed and the thunder cracked open the skies. It was deafening, I involuntarily screamed, my hands flew to cover my ears. Smiling, I then giggled and ran indoors. Mike shook his head and grinned at me.

I'm a wild, feral creature and refuse to be tamed.

2025 - Cactus Pears in the Garden - DSLR

Letting the land be what it is taught me a new level of patience.

When you allow it to be what it is, not what you want it to be you can see the beauty beyond your expectations.

Give it what it needs, what nature demands for its nourishment. Give the inhabitants what they need and they will come to you, in glory and abundance, thanking you for what you produced.

Dorothy ain't in Kansas anymore, and I learned it the hard way. As we all do.

I wanted a vegetable garden and luscious Midwest meadow, bursting with wildflowers, bees, butterflies, birds and alike. I loved being in California, feeling independent and grown up. My subconscious mind wouldn't let go of the green fields, the flowers and trees though. The rivers and ponds inundating my waking visions and nighttime dreams; I wanted to be there, and here. It is not possible.

When we first moved into our current home eleven years ago, I eyeballed a section of the backyard that was encased in railroad ties. I learned later that they have a toxic treatment that can actually kill plants and is harmful to humans and animals. It was a kitty litter box, and that is not a joke. I unearthed the sand and scat, relocated it and then filled the concaved hole with soil, amendment and compost. I imagined a small pond for frogs, burrows for toads. As I sprinkled the seed packets, I threw my aspirations and wishes into the ground. Fertilizing and watering, waiting and hoping.

What dreams that should have come turned into a dried up desert wasteland. Maybe a California poppy or a weed of some kind that blew in grew, and one random Jack-Be-Little pumpkin. I blamed myself, I must have done something wrong. I tried again the next year, but alas, no reward.

The same thing with our indoor plants! I murdered one after another because I wanted certain types of plants in particular areas of the home, for aesthetics. But you just can't. You have to listen to what they need, where they want to be, where they are going to be at their happiest and have the ability to flourish.

2025 - Milkweed & Monarch in our current garden bed. DSLR photo taken by Mike

I flipped the script.

I studied what each plant required to survive. I changed out their soil, changed their location and purchased specific fertilizers according to their needs.

Some plants did die, it was too late. Others bloomed into their full potential.

I learned the lesson with the outdoor garden as well. Now my garden is thriving. I planted succulents, cactus, native flowers and drought resistant plants. All kinds of animals and insects flocked to my little slice of desert heaven. Rabbits, quail, scrub jays, cardinals, monarch butterflies, hummingbirds, lizards and even some scorpions. I get to enjoy the vastly different range of species while I am still here. It may not be where I want to live, but I am staying patient and appreciating what is in front of me in this moment.

We forget that we are in a constant state of wanting to control, we are manipulators of our own little world. We want things to go our way. We try to control others so that we get what we want out of them. It never works. We have to let people be who they are and let go of the ones that are not meant to be in our life. We can only hope to attract like-minded, soul-fulfilling people so that we may bloom in beauty and wonderment together.

When you release your ego, giving your monkey mind a break, when you no longer see the world as you are, but as it is... is that not a form of enlightenment?

Thank you for reading! What are your takeaways? Have you listened to the land and what has it taught you?

In my novel, When She Breaks, Soshana has several enlightening moments when witnessing a stunning sunset and when going outside to feel the sun on her skin. These small moments are important as they caused her to make choices that changed her future. Because she quieted her mind and listened...

Read more about the book here:

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